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How is growing up different for men and women

Differences between men and women in the transition from child to adult

Problems for men

The male has extra challenges at birth. Yogic teachings say that ‘acid bath’ numbs the right hemisphere of the brain. This can be balanced during pregnancy, in child raising, and by the maturing adult’s decision to give birth to his intuitive and sensitive nature. Secondly, he faces more of a polarity during his separation from the Mother, especially between the ages of 7-14.

The man commonly projects the image of the ideal woman in an attempt to resolve his separation anxiety. In addition he has resented at times being told what to do by his Mother. This ‘backlash’ accounts in no small part for the over emphasis on the woman as a sex object to be manipulated and controlled. This is of course exploited and exacerbated by the media.

If the mother is unaware of the process of separation that the son must confront or if there are no good male role models this can set up a cycle for faliure in future relationships. This is made worse if he is dominated or over mothered.

There is a more gradual maturation of creative potential within the young man with the adult trying to appear mature before they are. Yogi Bhajan advised against sexual activity until the man is 24 years old saying that the testicles are not fully mature until this time.

Problems for women

For the female there is less polarity & separation. Both the Mother and her daughter have arc lines, from nipple to nipple and across the heart chakra, which maintains their connection. The main problem comes if the mother did not want a girl, then the self-esteem of the child is affected.

The girl matures earlier than the boy in most cases which also accounts in part for a higher percentage of success rates in pre-secondary schooling. 14 – 21 can be a difficult transition time for women as their physical form is changing and they often become self conscious. Promiscuity may become a pattern in an attempt to feel loved; Woman must differentiate between need and love. Between her nieve instinct and her awakening intuition. Her intuition helps her to tell the difference between his ego (and lies) and his essence.

Mental Health and Choice

Everyone’s life is full of all kind of symptoms and co-morbidities.
It is just a matter of a continuum. Some have more, others less.
The same with health and the balance between the life instinct and the death instinct. Everyone is always in the midst of that struggle and each is in a different place along the continuum.
The professionals decide the points along these lines where things get labelled as a condition requiring special attention.
In the end our work is to become more conscious. More conscious of what? That we are a spiritual being having a human experience. That our identity is a spiritual one, first and foremost.
What this means is that our soul doesn’t have ADD, bipolar, schizophrenia, OCD. Our soul is not in the least bit anxious or depressed. And what do we mean when we say soul? We mean our essence, our base, the One in us. So, on the deepest level there is no dis-ease.
How does the realisation that we are essentially perfect, free beings help us if we are struggling and in pain? If we come back to the objective of becoming more conscious, consciousness implies that we have a choice to react, to behave in a certain way.
Now, sometimes we only realise that we were behaving in an unconscious way after the event, for example; – we lose our temper and we only realise later that there was a chance, a choice moment, however fleeting to have responded without anger, calmly even.
The reasons we don’t feel like we have a choice, or even that it is an affront to your sensibilities that I even suggest there was a choice (given your family, given the drugs, given the regime, given the unfairness of it all) are complex and varied.
My only invitation here is to give us a starting point for discussion; When am reacting out of my past, old behavioural patterns and fear, and when I am choosing to respond with alignment and integrity? And how can I do the things that set me up to have more alignment and integrity?